Chocolate Cake . . .for Breakfast?

Yesterday, we were invited to a BBQ, so I decided to make homemade brownies from The Bride and Groom's First Cookbook. (Eight years later, and I'm just getting around to using it.) The recipe sounded heavenly. Chocolate, LOTS of chocolate. Walnuts. Sugar. More chocolate.

But Martha is not my middle name.

When I tried to remove them from the pan, they started to crumble. Not gooey enough? Who knows. I was so annoyed. I should have stuck with Betty Crocker. But Noooo . . .I needed to be all fancy.

About an hour later, while slumped in the car with my brownie debacle, I started cracking up. Until I was virtually incoherent.

"Do you remember that Cosby Show episode (gasp) where Cliff (gasp) makes the kids chocolate cake (gasp) for breakfast?"

"No. I don't remember that one."

"You know, the one where the dad gives the kids chocolate cake and tries to justify it by saying that it has eggs, milk, and wheat."

You can't force someone to remember something they haven't experienced. So here's Cosby's stand-up routine that gave rise to the hysterical Season 3 episode:

I love that he says "we had a ball until SHE came." Notice how we moms are always the bad guy, the SHE, the one having the "conniption." Remember all of the hairy conniptions your mom had in the 80's?

This memory came at the perfect time. I needed something to lighten up my pity party. I came to the conclusion that if my brownies didn't go over well, we could eat them for breakfast. My husband and me. Don't tell my daughter; I am one of those SHE moms. I don't want to meddle with this honorable title.

Bambini Bliss Giveaway!

I am thrilled to tell you about Bambini Bliss, an online boutique specializing in everything from stylish designer diaper bags to gifts for the new parents, big brother, or sister.  

If you're looking for a shower gift, the Baby Bonkie Swaddler is currently on sale for a limited time.  It has a simple, innovative design with velcro closures for babies up to 5 months.  They're hip and swanky . . .great for the new mom!  

If you need the perfect outfit for photographs, the Pipette and Hat sets by Jamie Rae have an easy on-off design for those precious moments in the spotlight!  

Bambini Bliss has it all, now offering a baby gift registry!  They have generously offered my readers the chance to win a Wipes Case in Sage Toile ($30 value). I have one of these fabric-covered cases, and it does add a little "Pretty" to the diaper-changing drudgery.  

For the opportunity to win, please visit Bambini Bliss.  Then, come back and comment.  Tell me one of your favorite items (other than the ones pictured here).  It will be hard to pick!  This giveaway is open until 6/5.   One lucky winner will be randomly chosen by Random.org.  You must be a U.S. resident to enter.  Have a Blissful day!

Women's Empowerment Series: Blogging Forum

Yesterday, I was honored to be a guest speaker at the Women's Empowerment (WE) Series in Ridgewood, NJ. This powerful program sets out to nurture the creative, contemplative nature of women through on-going conversation. It's for women "who yearn for a slice of urban intellect in the wilds of suburbia." And yes, it is wild.

I was joined by two highly successful, accomplished bloggers. Deborah Smith is the owner and editor of JerseyBites.com, a blog dedicated to recipes and restaurants in the Garden State. Deborah is "on a quest for food with attitude," the mark of a true Jersey girl! She is also the creator of "Blogging Out Hunger," a campaign which raised money and awareness on behalf of the Community Foodbank of New Jersey this past December. Deborah is a long-time online business owner of NannyClassifieds.com, servicing families who are searching for full time in-home childcare.

Jen Singer, creator of MommaSaid.net, has been successfully blogging since 2003, and has since appeared in numerous magazines and newspapers, including The New York Times, Parents, and Real Simple. Jen has also appeared on dozens of television and radio programs, such as ABC's World News Now and CBS The Early Show. Jen's new book, Stop Second Guessing Yourself-- The Toddler Years, just hit bookshelves in April, and is the first in a series of MommaSaid parenting advice books.

Are you looking for my list of accolades? Stop looking. You won't find them here. I was the voice of the new blogger on the block. As some of you know from my post If You Build It, They Will Come, I have always wanted to be a "real" writer. Yesterday, I met so many women like me, itching to come out of their writer's notebooks, but fearful of taking the plunge. I hear you! The blogosphere is another world with its own language and set of rules, and when you make the leap, you have to know who YOU are.

Each morning, I wake up knowing that I have the power to write something that will resonate with other moms.  So here I am, happily suburban, with my Mac and my thoughts.  My blog is a lot like me, a work in progress.  

I've Got Rhythm Stix, I've Got Music

My daughter LOVES music. I mean, really loves it. During her infancy, we spent hours bouncing and twirling across the kitchen floor, dancing to everything and anything. Except classical. Take that, Baby Einstein!

Now, whenever Liza hears music, the world stops. A smile stretches across her face as she bops her head and bends up and down at the knees. It's her own little jig, and it's seriously adorable (and future blackmail material).

Sometimes she adds shakers or tambourine to the combo, but more often it's Rhythm Stix. Two red sticks. That's it. Oh wait, they have ridges. Fancy, huh? But I've gotta be honest; they were the best $8 I spent on gifts last Christmas. Who needs all of that plastic Fisher Price c-r-a-p anyway?

Liza's learned to "Shake your sticks up HIGH, and down LOW" (imagine my voice rising and falling here). We've used them to keep the beat, follow directions, develop coordination, and identify body parts; it's much more fun to point to your nose with a big red stick.

We moms need to keep things fresh and exciting, in part to keep ourselves sane. LP RythMix has some cool instruments and music activities for little ones at various stages. There are even Mommy & Me activities.

When, as a mom, I'm grasping for straws, I turn to sticks instead: "I've got rhythm stix, I've got music . . .who could ask for anything more?"

Family Rituals: Saturday Morning Pancakes (and Bacon)

I love the smell of bacon. In part, because it's so darn tasty (though I'm not sure how I feel about Bacon Lip Balm). But also, because it takes me back to the Saturday mornings of my childhood. Pancake breakfasts, with a pound of bacon. (In his Odes to Common Things, Pablo Neruda really should have written an "Ode to Bacon.")

Man, I'm hungry.

I recently read a thought-provoking article entitled, The Importance of Family Rituals. I have a strong desire to establish some family rituals, to create a time and space in our family that says, "Family comes first," before all else. Years ago, my parents did this; I just didn't realize the value of it at the time.

Pancake breakfasts gathered us together around a shared meal. We joked, teased, shared the comics, and filled our bellies until all we could do was roll ourselves in front of the TV to watch the Saturday morning cartoon marathon. This ritual was nourishment for our bodies and souls, and it all happened in our pajamas. Does it get any better than that?

What I've learned: It isn't about the ritual, per se (although you can't go wrong with one that is bacon-centered). It's about standing firm as a family and of nurturing the bonds with those you love the most.

Please comment below with your favorite family rituals. I might have to steal a few!

Play

I recently heard a mom remark, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with my kids this summer.  They don’t know how to just play.”  Sound familiar? 

I’m making a sweeping generalization here: Today’s suburban kids live by set schedules and organized, adult-regulated activities.  We moms shuttle them off to piano lessons, tutoring, baseball practice, art class.  We think we’re doing what’s best for our kids.  We want them to have opportunities, so we start building our kids’ “resumes” in elementary school. 

Yes, I would agree that kids learn discipline, the value of teamwork, and socially appropriate behavior from playing soccer or saxophone.  But there’s a seriousness and rigidity to all of this structure, and we’re missing something big. . .

PLAY.    

In his outstanding book, Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagintion, and Invigorates the Soul, Stuart Brown, M.D., discusses play as a state of mind.  He defines it as “an absorbing, apparently purposeless activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of self-consciousness and sense of time.” 

Notice how Brown says that play is “apparently purposeless.”  In his eyes, it is perhaps the most important aspect of brain growth.  Brown believes that “play lies at the core of creativity and innovation.”

But we think that kids who fit the mold, who play “the game” with an exceptional GPA and impressive resume (that includes a service trip to Africa, of course), will be rewarded in life. 

How many unhappy college graduates do you know? 

In recent years, Brown has presented a seminar on play to Stanford sophomores, who he believes are “suffering from low-grade play deprivation, and are so used to their hectic, pressured, high-performance lives (despite still being kids) that they don’t realize what they have missed in the pursuit of academic excellence and success.” 

I was that kid.  Growing up, I was so tightly wound that I lost sight of play.   For me, good grades got old, and there was a huge price to pay for not cutting loose.  At the end of the day, who cares about academic accolades and big fat promotions if there is no play. 

So, how can we encourage our children to play? 

Brown suggests exposing our children to various opportunities at a young age and taking note of their early desires and inclinations, “the natural choices that your child’s early play demonstrates.”  Then, encourage those early patterns that result from natural desires to build, sing, create, dance, etc.

So, the next time your child plays with the box instead of the $100 award-winning toy inside of it, swallow your pride and give yourself permission to smile.  She is building a world for herself and mastering the most important subject, Life 101.  

What's the Hurry?

In college, I had a roommate from Wyoming. I loved her to pieces, but when it came to walking, she was Slow with a capital S. I was a "city" girl, destination-bound, with a quickness in my step. I walked with purpose, to get there fast. She, on the other hand, bounced her way down the sidewalk, in part I think, to irritate me. It worked.

My daughter is just at the age where she loves stepping out for a walk down our quiet little street. Together, we shuffle across the uneven pavement and explore nature's toy box. Yesterday we watched the birds darting from tree to tree. We listened to water gurgling through the sewer. We pointed to big, fluffy clouds and cars passing by. We picked a few flowers (Don't tell the neighbors.) and fingered the veins on leaves. We stomped across a patch of rocks and giggled as they crunched under our toes.

It was a grand buffet for the senses.

Maybe the tortoise is onto something. For years, I'd thought that slow was synonymous with purposeless. These days, I'd argue that the opposite is true. Because when you hurry about, you miss stuff. Stuff that stirs your blood and awakens your soul. You know, if we walked at the pace of a child, we’d see so much more of the world.

Okay, Miss Wyoming, you were right. Want to go for a walk? You lead.