turnitupmom

Farewell Blogger

2009-06-22T03:48:00.000-07:00

Turnitupmom is moving! Blogger . . .thank you for gently introducing me to the blogosphere, and now, for setting me free!

For a sneak peek, please visit me at http://www.turnitupmom.com

Thank you to all of of my readers who have jumped on board to crank up the music and dance! The best is yet to come . . .

P.S. Congrats to "Groovy Baby Blog," winner of the Breast Cancer Awareness bracelet :)

A Gal Pal: Every Woman Needs One

2009-06-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

I'm staring down at my toenails right now, speckled in remnants of "Oh So Glam" from the last wedding I attended. Seriously, these nasty nails need some TLC. Come to think of it, I could use a little TLC too.

What's a girl gonna do? Regis, I'd like to phone a friend. A gal pal. That friend who you call when you need a break and a little something to jazz up your day- a new pair of shoes, a foot massage, a cup 'o java. At the beginning of flip-flop season, I always call my friend Ange: "It's pedi time!"

It's the best of both worlds: girl bonding and pampering. And the pampering begins with a "big" decision: Which color will define you for the next few months? The search for the perfect shade is no small task, as it's never confined to mere color; the actual name is key. Here's me over-complicating OPI nail polish colors:

Makes Men Blush. Yeah, not feeling "hot" today.

Room Service. Forget room service. How about a vacation? A vacation would be nice.

It's a Doozi, Says Suzi. Sounds like this afternoon's diaper.

No Room for the Blues. Like that name, but it's blue. Can't look at that all summer.

Twenty Candles on my Cake. Dream on, honey.

Kiss on the Chic. Okay, that's sweet. Hold that one.

Senorita Rose-alita. Oh, reminds me of that Phil Vassar song I love, about high school sweethearts. Possibility.

Your Villa or Mine? Villa. I like that word. Villa means vacation. I'm noticing a trend here.

And so it goes, until I'm forced to choose or Ange shares her polish (yet another reason why I love her). Then, for an hour, I shirk my mommy responsibilities, sink into a sumptuous leather massage chair, and undergo the transformation to "Senorita Rose-alita." Meanwhile, my gal pal and I dish the latest news- in our lives and in People magazine. Every woman needs one of those friends who she can call for a little escape- whether that's chatting over a cup of coffee, or under a nail dryer.

Strawberry Picking

2009-06-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, we hopped in the big bad Subaru and headed out to the "country" for some strawberry pickin'. It started out like this: Daddy lead the way to an untouched patch of ripe, juicy strawberries. Two little feet followed close behind.

Then, we parked ourselves in a section of one aisle (notice the overalls are blue and white). We squatted down and inspected the berries, plucking the bright juicy fruits from their vines and plopping them into our basket. Well, sort of.

Note to self: Ripe strawberries are unwrapped candies to a toddler. Delayed gratification has no place in a field of fresh fruit.

The brim of her hat says, "Life is Good." I mean, really, does it get any better than this?

Click HERE for a pick-your-own farm near you! Some even follow organic farming methods.

Celebrating an Anniversary: Quality Time

2009-06-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

Just the other day, I opened the fridge to find an anniversary card curiously propped up against the milk. The front of the envelope read, "My Girl." After eight years, my heart still flutters when I read that, especially now that I have to compete with an irresistibly cute toddler.

When it comes to celebrating anniversaries, my husband and I don't buy each other extravagant gifts. Instead, we do two things: spend quality time together over a delicious meal (that someone else has prepared) and support Hallmark.

Last Tuesday night we celebrated at an Italian restaurant. We nestled into a corner table and gorged ourselves with antipasto, spinach salad with bacon and mushrooms (and you know how I feel about bacon), homemade pasta with ricotta and bechamel, and chicken parmigiana smothered in cheese. Italians know how to do it right! And they always send me home with leftovers.

The conversation during our date was light and fun, even superficial at times. But all the while, I felt a deep sense of connectedness. It's easy after eight years to say, "Oh, we don't need to go on a date. We know that we love each other. Been there, done that." But for me, it matters that we spend this quality time together, even if there are moments where we sit in silence, stuffing our faces.

A few years ago, someone offered me this simple advice on marriage: "Nurture your love like you would a baby." It stuck with me. Babies need nourishment and attention to survive and thrive. So do our marriages. I'm no expert on relationships, but it makes sense to me that we need to "feed" our marriages and take care of them, especially when we feel pulled in so many different directions.

After eight years, Tim and I laugh about each other's quirks and finish each other's sentences. We still fail miserably when it comes to managing household tasks, but at least that means we're lucky enough to have a roof over our heads. Our marriage isn't perfect, but it's ours. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

The Smell of Fun

2009-06-11T03:31:00.000-07:00

Every now and then my husband will say, "That smell reminds me of Grandma's house up in the country." It's amazing that sometimes even mothballs elicit a nostalgia. But studies show that smell is strongly linked to memory, and thus to our emotional responses to life experiences.

Have you ever thought about the smell of FUN? Revisit your childhood for a moment. What smells, fragrant or foul, instantly take you back? Ah, those were the days:

a charcoal grill with a splash of lighter fluid
fresh-cut grass
the ashes from fireworks
a mixture of seaweed and saltwater
Big League Chew bubble gum
plastic inflatable inner tubes
the middle school locker room
cheap, movie theater popcorn
a new can of tennis balls
a homemade ice cream shop

Wouldn't it be great if we could just bottle up some of these and take a whiff when we get bogged down in the trenches of parenthood? Or better yet, why not head off to the park, the movie theater, or the beach? And oh, don't forget to stop for ice cream on the way!

Avocados: The Forgotten Fruit

2009-06-08T17:18:00.000-07:00

Looking for something different to feed your growing baby or picky toddler? Try avocados, the forgotten fruit (at least by Gerber). Here's what's great about avocados: They are loaded with unsaturated good fats, vitamins, and minerals for growing bodies and strong bones. Here are a few ways I've incorporated them into my daughter's diet:

Create an avocado and pear puree (to add a little sweetness)
Blend avocado and plain whole milk yogurt
Mash avocado with chicken (creamy consistency helps the chicken go down easily)
Spread homemade guacamole (made from avocados) on your child's favorite cracker for a nutritious on-the-go snack.

Avocados are the "cool kids" when it comes to fresh produce. There is actually a site devoted to them: The Amazing Avocado. (After all, this is the internet.) You can visit for some meal planning ideas for the whole family: main dishes, side dishes, salads, and more!

Photo courtesy of Raw Food Nation.

In Memory of Gladys: Breast Cancer Awareness Jewelry GIVEAWAY

2009-06-08T03:23:00.000-07:00

On May 22, my family lost a dear friend, Gladys, to cancer. Gladys was diagnosed with breast cancer as a young mom and fought for nearly 20 years; yet, she never let cancer dictate her life. She was an amazing woman with an unwavering faith and a heart of gold, a model of strength and hope for all who were lucky enough to know her.

Amy, creator and designer of Our 2 Peas in a Pod, has graciously offered to join me in honoring Gladys and all the women affected by breast cancer, with this beautiful Ladies Breast Cancer Awareness bracelet giveaway. This piece is handcrafted with Genuine Swarovski crystals, fiber optic beads, and sterling components. It makes a wonderful gift!

Our 2 Peas in a Pod is a mom-owned boutique, specializing in custom-designed jewelry for infants, children, and adults. Each and every jewelry piece has been handcrafted using only the finest quality crystals, pearls, beads, and wiring components. Items can be personalized or custom-made to celebrate a Special Occasion or to accessorize with a favorite Disney Princess.

Amy has even designed jewelry Made to Match kids' clothing lines, like Gymboree (my personal favorite!) Here, the color palette matches Gymboree's Palm Springs collection:

You can also find jewelry to celebrate your favorite Holidays, like this sweet necklace and bracelet set for Valentine's Day:

Our 2 Peas in a Pod offers FREE first class shipping to mailing list customers. So head on over and introduce yourself!

And now for the GIVEAWAY: Please visit Our 2 Peas in a Pod. Then, come back and comment about which piece of jewelry (other than the ones pictured above) is your favorite. Be sure to include an email address where you may be reached.

This is an extra special giveaway for me, and I sincerely appreciate the loyalty of my subscribers and followers. If this includes you, please indicate so in a separate entry (after you have completed the mandatory first entry) to increase your chances of winning.

On Sunday, June 21, one lucky winner will be randomly selected by Random.org. You must be a U.S. resident (18+) to enter. Good luck!

Enter Sandman

2009-06-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

Here is how it all started- the story behind "turnitupmom."

It was an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, or so I thought. My three-month-old daughter, Liza, and I were still in our pajamas, bouncing to Steve Miller Band’s Jungle Love. Somehow the lyrics “drivin’ me mad, makin’ me crazy” seemed all too appropriate. Liza had been awake for seven hours straight, and I was running out of silly Mary Poppins-like antics to keep her content. She’d resisted the traditional methods of settling down, and I needed to come up with something, and fast. Clearly, she needed a nap. Clearly, I needed one too.

While I’m not a voracious reader of parenting manuals and how-to guides (Let’s face it, there is no manual.), I did expect that my daughter would respond well to the recipe for a happy baby: swaddle, sway, and shush. I envisioned her nestling into the crook of my arm and drifting off to sleep, lulled by classical melodies. Quite to the contrary, she squirmed free of my futile attempts to cuddle close with a warm, cozy blanket. I spent days grasping for straws until I realized that she required something a bit more edgy than “The Muffin Man.” That’s when I turned to my husband’s eclectic music collection.

That afternoon, we ripped up the dance floor (Okay, the linoleum kitchen tiles.), bouncing and grooving to the music. And the louder, the better. Liza closed her tiny fingers around my shirtsleeve, and we clung to each other. We whirled past kitchen counters strewn with bottles and dirty dishes, and we twirled in circles, dizzying ourselves. We weren’t waltzing to a Brahms lullaby, and yet I felt a deep sense of comfort separate from the rest of the world. It was an unmistakable bond with my daughter, as I gave myself permission to dance with a childlike abandon and wonder.

Despite my utter exhaustion, an untapped stream of energy rose from deep within and gave way to flirtation with a light, carefree me. I wasn’t going to need a Richard Simmons video to get this body back in shape. I was sweatin’ to everything from Michael Jackson to Metallica. Before long, that room was filled with laughter, singing, and a curiously content baby. But God, did I need a shower.

I couldn’t wrap my head around it; my husband and I were quiet babies, content to sit and gaze and bat our hands at colorful rattles. I half-expected our daughter to be the same. It was in this moment that I made a conscious effort to shift my thinking. Instead of wishing her to be otherwise, I began to embrace all that she was- a curious, wide-eyed, active baby who made me laugh- instead of all that she wasn’t. And we danced. What emerged from this moment was the opportunity for me to know my child and to rediscover myself.

Did she fall asleep? Of course she did. After a few minutes, Liza nestled her head into the space under my chin and tucked her knees up into my chest. Her eyelids grew heavy and her body, limp. Although the couch was enticing, my heart told me to savor this moment. I pressed my lips against her forehead and continued to rock. Here I was, mommy-gone-mad, with a sense of calm falling around me. I, too, closed my eyes and let go, knowing that in a matter of months, her little tushy wouldn’t fit in the palm of my hand. My nap could wait. I didn’t ever want to wish that we had danced more.

I often ask myself, why does my daughter love to dance? Maybe it’s the rocking motion that simulates the womb or the liveliness of the music, but I have to believe that it’s more than that. Perhaps Liza is giving me exactly what I need- the chance to stop, to breathe, and to be fully present. Somewhere along the line, between juggling work and the inability to say “no,” I had suppressed my most basic need to be and to honor all that I am.

Liza had her own agenda from the moment of conception. What I didn’t know was that it would come in the form of a gift, one that transcended my expectations.

The serendipity of it all is that one week later, I slipped on a pair of brand new jazz shoes and headed off to dance, this time with a group of women who love to sweat. Every week I do this for myself- for my body, my spirit, and a guilt-free break. Who do I have to thank for this? My little Liza who, literally, doesn’t miss a beat. Thanks to her, I’ve been reacquainted with the happy-go-lucky girl who could pirouette, slide into a split, and steal the show. (Although, I must admit that after delivering a baby, the thought of a split makes me cringe and contract my pelvic muscles.) Because of dance, we have a few more funky songs on our playlist and a few new moves for our kitchen repertoire. Because of dance, I have reconnected with a freer side of myself that I’d lost in the trenches of life. Liza gave me the push I needed to step out onto the dance floor again and to linger in moments of sheer fun.

I have since plunged into this new role, at times wacky and wild, and while it differs from the challenges of classroom instruction, it demands a similar creativity and freshness. Every day Liza cracks me up, and some days I wonder where she came from. Although, in truth, I’ve come to believe that while our children are of us, they are not us.

My husband and I joke that someday our daughter will be the last child to conk out at her first slumber party. But for now, I have come to appreciate the fact that I can “sway” my daughter to sleep, even if it means cranking up a little classic Metallica. And maybe- just maybe- the Sandman will pay us a visit.

Chill Out: A New Parenting Trend

2009-06-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of the latest parenting style that involves reclining on the couch, martini-in-hand, while your child occupies herself with legos? Me neither. But Tom Hodgkinson's new book, The Idle Parent: Why Less Means More When Raising Kids, describes a new parenting phenomena that may be the best kept secret to raising well-adjusted, independent children. Less helicoptering and micromanaging, more martinis (just look at his cover).

In a recent New York Times magazine article "Let the Kid Be," Lisa Belkin suggests that this new wave of parenting is on the rise. It makes sense. In my opinion, today's parenting styles are a response to the over-parenting of our predecessors, those moms and dads who were determined to ruin our lives, dragging us to orchestra rehearsal because "it looked good" for college.

Today, however, Belkin claims that parents are saying NO to strict schedules, flash cards, tutors, and violin lessons. In truth, while I wouldn't call it a laissez-faire approach, it's a relaxed style that involves less in-your-face, over-scheduling and more enjoying life and being.

I'd like the think that Belkin's right, that perhaps we've been enlightened. But truthfully, as a mom enmeshed in the wilds of suburbia, I've yet to see this theory in action. Instead, I see kids miss out on dirty knees, because they have too much homework in first grade. As a teacher, I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to get up in someone's grill and shout: "Just chill out and leave your kid alone."

Bottom line: Chill out, Mom.

For me, this boils down to trusting more and fearing less. Trusting that our kids won't be paralyzed by Lyme's Disease if they play in the woods. Trusting that they won't be a failure if they get a C or choose not to go to . . .(oh my God) college. Trusting that they will find their way and grow to be decent human beings- probably the same decent human beings who will respond to our under-parenting with a tightening of the reigns, and a few martinis.

Less Is More

2009-06-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

There is something cathartic about getting rid of stuff. It's freeing. In fact, I actually get a bit jealous when I drive past a heap of trash piled at the end of someone's driveway, because potentially, that someone's basement or bedroom is less cluttered. And if she's like me (let's be honest, he doesn't care), so is her mind.

Recently, I've felt guilty (just a little) about my eagerness to purge. You know, I love singing Jack Johnson's "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" song, and I'll admit, throwing things away isn't exactly living up to my end of the reuse bargain. Somebody, somewhere wants my trash, bless her soul.

Feeling the need to bid farewell to Precious Moments and the chotchkies of my youth, we teamed up with our neighbors last weekend to have a giant garage sale. I don't need 15 Yankee Candles (the infamous teacher gift) or 5 silicone spatulas. I'm not keeping them "just in case. . ." That's hogwash.

Over the years, I have developed a "Less is More" philosophy. I don't need things to live a full, rich life. I need a clean, open space for my thoughts of gratitude and abundance.

I felt liberated watching people genuinely happy to walk off with my trash. I'd much rather it sit on someone else's bookshelf than in a landfill. Here's the best part: Our very last customer was a woman who has an orphanage in Haiti. She filled her car with my remaining five boxes of stuff, for free of course. Honestly, I would have paid her to take my junk.

Before she left, the woman scribbled down her phone number. So the next time I feel the need to grab a garbage bag and toss, I'm going to pick up the phone instead. And bless her soul, she'll cart it all away.

KC Los Angeles GIVEAWAY: Tees with a Latin Flair

2009-05-31T17:47:00.000-07:00

I recently stumbled upon KC Los Angeles, a stylish t-shirt company that inspires women to embrace their femininity, their roots, and their dreams. Owner Karen Crawford created the line to celebrate her heritage in NYC's Spanish Harlem.

These inspirational, graphic tees and tanks are 100% super-soft cotton, with a Latin flair. I am thrilled to be giving away 2 of them! Check these out:

The Paz tee (size M) was inspired by the graffiti on the unforgiving streets of Harlem. We all have a responsibility to advocate for peace- in our communities, our nation, and our world. There are no excuses. I like the idea of having "paz" emblazoned across my heart; it's my little reminder to sow seeds of peace wherever I go.

The Unity tee (size L) displays the message: "Fuerza en la Unidad" (Strength in Unity). According to KC, the essence of unity is WE: "Not me. We." When I wear tees like these, I feel like I am announcing to the world: "Hey, this is what I'm all about. This is what I stand for."

As a woman and a mom, I am proud to wear clothing that inspires our children to embrace peace, hope love, faith, beauty, and unity. These tees and tanks are fun, flattering (run a bit small- order up!) and have messages with a mission. Plus, 10% of all purchases go to a non-profit, family service organization, Para Los Ninos.

To enter this GIVEAWAY, please visit KC Los Angeles. Come back and comment about which tee or tank (other than the ones pictured above) is your favorite. Be sure to include an email address where you may be reached. On Friday, June 12, two lucky winners will be randomly selected by Random.org. You must be a U.S. resident (18+) to enter. Good luck!

"Me Time" for Mom

2009-05-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

I have never met a mom who didn't feel the need for "me time." While I am so grateful for the privilege to be a mom, I recognize the need to regularly recharge my batteries. I asked six wonderful women to share a snapshot of how they sneak in a little time for themselves. I think you'll find their thoughts to be funny, authentic, and down-right true!

I steal free time. Rather than wait for my husband to offer it, I just grab the car keys and announce to whoever might be in the room, "I'm going to a movie!" I then show up at the theater and watch whatever happens to be starting next. In other words, my "me time" is spent with my brain unplugged. Whether it's watching "Deadliest Catch" marathons on Discovery while my husband takes the boys to Best Buy to play Guitar Hero or it's my wandering aimlessly around a movie theater until the nachos run out, I approach my time alone with absolutely no goals other than to zone out and recharge. And maybe gain five pounds while I'm at it.

-Megan, Velveteen Mind

I have learned that no one will give me my "me time" - I have to find it, own it, and protect it. I carve out at least 15 minutes every morning to write or read while drinking a cup of ginger tea or decaf coffee. It is a nice quiet way to start my day before my kids wake up. I also have a weekly mom's night out. My husband picks up my boys from preschool and I have the entire night off. On a monthly basis, I schedule a girl's night out with one or more of my friends. And on an annual basis, I leave my family and go on vacation all by myself. All of these activities honor my needs, passions, and authentic self. "Me time" keeps me balanced and it gives me the mental bandwidth to live my life (on most days) with intention.

-Stacey, Create a Balance

After I put my girls to bed, I immediately change into my yoga clothes and recharge by doing an hour and a half of Ashtanga yoga. Oh wait. That's not it. I mean, I change into my Juicy sweatpants, sit on the couch, drink a glass of wine and watch "Gossip Girl" or "Rescue Me." Yup, that's how I recharge.

-Kelcey, The Mama Bird Diaries

I danced all throughout my childhood, but as I became older, I gave it up. About seven years ago I saw belly dance classes popping up all over Denver and I took a few with different teachers, but I always had a hard time with the schedule. When my son started preschool this past September, I asked the Universe for a teacher because I wanted to dance again. She appeared, and since then I have been dancing 3-4 days a week. I have re-discovered my sensuality, and it certainly doesn't hurt that I am getting in shape. But most importantly belly dance is a woman's dance, and it allows me to reconnect to my true self and to the Goddess. The beauty of this dance is that it is welcoming to women of all shapes, sizes and ages. In fact, dare I say as you get older, you get better.

-Dina, Walking Within the Spiral

One of the ways I find some me time is to lock myself in the bathroom and take a hot bath. My husband will also take my girls out occasionally on a "daddy date," and it's nice to just have some down time to myself to exercise, shop, whatever!

-Blonde Mom Blog

And from the expectant mom:

With only 13 or so weeks left until my first child arrives, my "me time" lately has been spent doing a lot of baby preparations. When I actually have free "me time," my favorite thing to do is to go to a great bookstore on a Saturday morning and peruse the shelves looking for a new read. Once I've chosen a new book (or magazine, depending on my mood), I enjoy heading over to my local coffee shop to have an omelette and read. It always feels like such an indulgence. Taking a couple of quiet hours just for me helps me to recharge. My husband is very "kid friendly," so I'm hoping that after the baby arrives I'll still be able to indulge in my Saturday morning "me time" every once in awhile.

-ChitChatMom

Waiting: Do You Think I Have All Day?

2009-05-27T01:32:00.000-07:00

I used to hate waiting. Waiting rooms. Waiting on line. Waiting for the freight train to pass. It’s my impatient, Jersey, I-have-somewhere-to-be mentality.

Yesterday, I had an appointment at a doctor’s office that is notorious for making me wait. I mean, really wait. Long, torturous hours. It makes my blood boil. The audacity! This appointment had the power to ruin my entire afternoon.

But yesterday was different. I entered the waiting room childless (childless may be the operative word here), with my reading materials, ready to wait. Bring it. I’ve got all day. Well, as long as I’m outta here by 3:30.

I relaxed into one of the cushiony, leather chairs and perused the latest Real Simple magazine, which usually accumulates dust on my nightstand for months before I have the opportunity to open it. By then, I'm reading about summer skin care in January. What good is that?

I'll have you know that yesterday, I actually read entire articles without transforming into a human jungle gym, without a little person crawling on me or tugging at my pants. It was liberating just to sit and wait, to read something that made me laugh out loud (embarrassing at times) or wonder Is this blogging material? I never once glanced at the clock, annoyed.

Heck, if waiting is the closest I can get to time alone, I’ll take it.

Getting Our Kids to Eat Healthy: Alternatives to Negotiating

2009-05-25T17:46:00.000-07:00

I've always been interested in the language that parents use with small children when discussing food and nutrition. We've all heard the old threat: "If you don't eat your veggies, no dessert." By saying this, we're setting our kids up to view eating vegetables as undesirable, just a means to get to the good stuff. I'll be the first to say, I love dessert. In moderation.

So how can I talk to my toddler about food and avoid the negotiating and bribery game that drains so many parents and ends in a power struggle?

I recently consulted Dr. William Sears's book, The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood. Dr. Sears uses a simple and kid-friendly language when discussing food. He talks of "green light" (best) foods versus "red light" (worst) foods, and uses this terminology to steer kids towards making healthy choices. Dr. Sears also refers to nutritious foods as "grow foods." His article, The ABC's of Teaching Nutrition to Your Kids, is an excellent resource for parents; it offers practical tips for raising a health-conscious child with an adventurous palette (without crowning you Meanest Mother in the World).

Stacie Elliott, founder of New Mommy Help, regularly blogs about supporting and encouraging new moms. She is the mother of 4 beautiful children, twin boys- 6, girl-3, boy-1. I am so grateful for Stacie's expertise in this area (I consider the mom of 4 good eaters an expert!)

I believe proper nutrition begins at birth--preferably breastfeeding. This requires a mom to think about what she is eating right from the start. By the way, this is a fine example of the beginning of motherhood, isn't it? We have to make sacrifices and wise decisions regarding our children that we might never have made otherwise.

As moms, we all know that it doesn't matter what is on our plate; our children want it. Obviously, we can say what we want about food, but in the end our actions speak louder. Modeling healthy eating is a vital form of communication. For example, when our children started on solid foods, I chose to make homemade baby food. As often as possible, I would simply use the food we were having for dinner. If we had baked sweet potatoes, I made a puree for the baby. Of course, this only works when choosing nutritionally sound meals.

We regularly talk about the ingredients and nutritional value in different foods. Like, meat has protein for strong muscles. Fruits and Veggies have various vitamins, etc. Our kids respond well to that and seem to make good choices when given the chance. However, our 6-year-olds are already dealing with peer pressure in this area. They see what other kids eat and drink and want to know why they can't have soda (for example). Since we have already talked about how foods provide various types of nutrition, they can understand our decision better.

In response to the question, "Have I eaten enough to have dessert?" we have designated dessert days. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are dessert days. Everyone knows dessert is only on weekends. We view it as something special, and it's not expected any other day. We do, however, make exceptions on special occasions (i.e. birthdays). We tell our kids that desserts have lots of sugar and very little healthy ingredients, if any. That's why we do not have dessert every day. We want to take care of our bodies and limit foods that are empty.

Thank you, Stacie, for sharing your wise words of wisdom with us! Please visit Stacie's blog for more information and insight.

Chocolate Cake . . .for Breakfast?

2009-05-24T03:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we were invited to a BBQ, so I decided to make homemade brownies from The Bride and Groom's First Cookbook. (Eight years later, and I'm just getting around to using it.) The recipe sounded heavenly. Chocolate, LOTS of chocolate. Walnuts. Sugar. More chocolate.

But Martha is not my middle name.

When I tried to remove them from the pan, they started to crumble. Not gooey enough? Who knows. I was so annoyed. I should have stuck with Betty Crocker. But Noooo . . .I needed to be all fancy.

About an hour later, while slumped in the car with my brownie debacle, I started cracking up. Until I was virtually incoherent.

"Do you remember that Cosby Show episode (gasp) where Cliff (gasp) makes the kids chocolate cake (gasp) for breakfast?"

"No. I don't remember that one."

"You know, the one where the dad gives the kids chocolate cake and tries to justify it by saying that it has eggs, milk, and wheat."

You can't force someone to remember something they haven't experienced. So here's Cosby's stand-up routine that gave rise to the hysterical Season 3 episode:

I love that he says "we had a ball until SHE came." Notice how we moms are always the bad guy, the SHE, the one having the "conniption." Remember all of the hairy conniptions your mom had in the 80's?

This memory came at the perfect time. I needed something to lighten up my pity party. I came to the conclusion that if my brownies didn't go over well, we could eat them for breakfast. My husband and me. Don't tell my daughter; I am one of those SHE moms. I don't want to meddle with this honorable title.

Bambini Bliss Giveaway!

2009-05-22T03:09:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to tell you about Bambini Bliss, an online boutique specializing in everything from stylish designer diaper bags to gifts for the new parents, big brother, or sister.

If you're looking for a shower gift, the Baby Bonkie Swaddler is currently on sale for a limited time. It has a simple, innovative design with velcro closures for babies up to 5 months. They're hip and swanky . . .great for the new mom!

If you need the perfect outfit for photographs, the Pipette and Hat sets by Jamie Rae have an easy on-off design for those precious moments in the spotlight!

Bambini Bliss has it all, now offering a baby gift registry! They have generously offered my readers the chance to win a Wipes Case in Sage Toile ($30 value). I have one of these fabric-covered cases, and it does add a little "Pretty" to the diaper-changing drudgery.

For the opportunity to win, please visit Bambini Bliss. Then, come back and comment. Tell me one of your favorite items (other than the ones pictured here). It will be hard to pick! This giveaway is open until 6/5. One lucky winner will be randomly chosen by Random.org. You must be a U.S. resident to enter. Have a Blissful day!

Women's Empowerment Series: Blogging Forum

2009-05-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was honored to be a guest speaker at the Women's Empowerment (WE) Series in Ridgewood, NJ. This powerful program sets out to nurture the creative, contemplative nature of women through on-going conversation. It's for women "who yearn for a slice of urban intellect in the wilds of suburbia." And yes, it is wild.

I was joined by two highly successful, accomplished bloggers. Deborah Smith is the owner and editor of JerseyBites.com, a blog dedicated to recipes and restaurants in the Garden State. Deborah is "on a quest for food with attitude," the mark of a true Jersey girl! She is also the creator of "Blogging Out Hunger," a campaign which raised money and awareness on behalf of the Community Foodbank of New Jersey this past December. Deborah is a long-time online business owner of NannyClassifieds.com, servicing families who are searching for full time in-home childcare.

Jen Singer, creator of MommaSaid.net, has been successfully blogging since 2003, and has since appeared in numerous magazines and newspapers, including The New York Times, Parents, and Real Simple. Jen has also appeared on dozens of television and radio programs, such as ABC's World News Now and CBS The Early Show. Jen's new book, Stop Second Guessing Yourself-- The Toddler Years, just hit bookshelves in April, and is the first in a series of MommaSaid parenting advice books.

Are you looking for my list of accolades? Stop looking. You won't find them here. I was the voice of the new blogger on the block. As some of you know from my post If You Build It, They Will Come, I have always wanted to be a "real" writer. Yesterday, I met so many women like me, itching to come out of their writer's notebooks, but fearful of taking the plunge. I hear you! The blogosphere is another world with its own language and set of rules, and when you make the leap, you have to know who YOU are.

Each morning, I wake up knowing that I have the power to write something that will resonate with other moms. So here I am, happily suburban, with my Mac and my thoughts. My blog is a lot like me, a work in progress.

I've Got Rhythm Stix, I've Got Music

2009-05-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

My daughter LOVES music. I mean, really loves it. During her infancy, we spent hours bouncing and twirling across the kitchen floor, dancing to everything and anything. Except classical. Take that, Baby Einstein!

Now, whenever Liza hears music, the world stops. A smile stretches across her face as she bops her head and bends up and down at the knees. It's her own little jig, and it's seriously adorable (and future blackmail material).

Sometimes she adds shakers or tambourine to the combo, but more often it's Rhythm Stix. Two red sticks. That's it. Oh wait, they have ridges. Fancy, huh? But I've gotta be honest; they were the best $8 I spent on gifts last Christmas. Who needs all of that plastic Fisher Price c-r-a-p anyway?

Liza's learned to "Shake your sticks up HIGH, and down LOW" (imagine my voice rising and falling here). We've used them to keep the beat, follow directions, develop coordination, and identify body parts; it's much more fun to point to your nose with a big red stick.

We moms need to keep things fresh and exciting, in part to keep ourselves sane. LP RythMix has some cool instruments and music activities for little ones at various stages. There are even Mommy & Me activities.

When, as a mom, I'm grasping for straws, I turn to sticks instead: "I've got rhythm stix, I've got music . . .who could ask for anything more?"

Family Rituals: Saturday Morning Pancakes (and Bacon)

2009-05-18T18:18:00.000-07:00

I love the smell of bacon. In part, because it's so darn tasty (though I'm not sure how I feel about Bacon Lip Balm). But also, because it takes me back to the Saturday mornings of my childhood. Pancake breakfasts, with a pound of bacon. (In his Odes to Common Things, Pablo Neruda really should have written an "Ode to Bacon.")

Man, I'm hungry.

I recently read a thought-provoking article entitled, The Importance of Family Rituals. I have a strong desire to establish some family rituals, to create a time and space in our family that says, "Family comes first," before all else. Years ago, my parents did this; I just didn't realize the value of it at the time.

Pancake breakfasts gathered us together around a shared meal. We joked, teased, shared the comics, and filled our bellies until all we could do was roll ourselves in front of the TV to watch the Saturday morning cartoon marathon. This ritual was nourishment for our bodies and souls, and it all happened in our pajamas. Does it get any better than that?

What I've learned: It isn't about the ritual, per se (although you can't go wrong with one that is bacon-centered). It's about standing firm as a family and of nurturing the bonds with those you love the most.

Please comment below with your favorite family rituals. I might have to steal a few!

Play

2009-05-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

I recently heard a mom remark, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with my kids this summer. They don’t know how to just play.” Sound familiar?

I’m making a sweeping generalization here: Today’s suburban kids live by set schedules and organized, adult-regulated activities. We moms shuttle them off to piano lessons, tutoring, baseball practice, art class. We think we’re doing what’s best for our kids. We want them to have opportunities, so we start building our kids’ “resumes” in elementary school.

Yes, I would agree that kids learn discipline, the value of teamwork, and socially appropriate behavior from playing soccer or saxophone. But there’s a seriousness and rigidity to all of this structure, and we’re missing something big. . .

PLAY.

In his outstanding book, Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagintion, and Invigorates the Soul, Stuart Brown, M.D., discusses play as a state of mind. He defines it as “an absorbing, apparently purposeless activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of self-consciousness and sense of time.”

Notice how Brown says that play is “apparently purposeless.” In his eyes, it is perhaps the most important aspect of brain growth. Brown believes that “play lies at the core of creativity and innovation.”

But we think that kids who fit the mold, who play “the game” with an exceptional GPA and impressive resume (that includes a service trip to Africa, of course), will be rewarded in life.

How many unhappy college graduates do you know?

In recent years, Brown has presented a seminar on play to Stanford sophomores, who he believes are “suffering from low-grade play deprivation, and are so used to their hectic, pressured, high-performance lives (despite still being kids) that they don’t realize what they have missed in the pursuit of academic excellence and success.”

I was that kid. Growing up, I was so tightly wound that I lost sight of play. For me, good grades got old, and there was a huge price to pay for not cutting loose. At the end of the day, who cares about academic accolades and big fat promotions if there is no play.

So, how can we encourage our children to play?

Brown suggests exposing our children to various opportunities at a young age and taking note of their early desires and inclinations, “the natural choices that your child’s early play demonstrates.” Then, encourage those early patterns that result from natural desires to build, sing, create, dance, etc.

So, the next time your child plays with the box instead of the $100 award-winning toy inside of it, swallow your pride and give yourself permission to smile. She is building a world for herself and mastering the most important subject, Life 101.

What's the Hurry?

2009-05-15T02:42:00.000-07:00

In college, I had a roommate from Wyoming. I loved her to pieces, but when it came to walking, she was Slow with a capital S. I was a "city" girl, destination-bound, with a quickness in my step. I walked with purpose, to get there fast. She, on the other hand, bounced her way down the sidewalk, in part I think, to irritate me. It worked.

My daughter is just at the age where she loves stepping out for a walk down our quiet little street. Together, we shuffle across the uneven pavement and explore nature's toy box. Yesterday we watched the birds darting from tree to tree. We listened to water gurgling through the sewer. We pointed to big, fluffy clouds and cars passing by. We picked a few flowers (Don't tell the neighbors.) and fingered the veins on leaves. We stomped across a patch of rocks and giggled as they crunched under our toes.

It was a grand buffet for the senses.

Maybe the tortoise is onto something. For years, I'd thought that slow was synonymous with purposeless. These days, I'd argue that the opposite is true. Because when you hurry about, you miss stuff. Stuff that stirs your blood and awakens your soul. You know, if we walked at the pace of a child, we’d see so much more of the world.

Okay, Miss Wyoming, you were right. Want to go for a walk? You lead.

Best Buddies

2009-05-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

"A dog naps so much because it loves so hard."

-anonymous

Make Your Bed.

2009-05-13T02:42:00.000-07:00

I'm not a domestic goddess. There are usually piles of laundry on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink. But one thing is certain: The bed is always made. Well, almost always.

A few months before my daughter was born, I sat down with my husband for the talk. Sorry to disappoint, but it had nothing to do with money, sex, or in-laws. “We need to start making the bed,” I insisted. If I was going to demand that my child make her bed one day, then I needed to do it too.

So we tested the widely held belief that it takes 21 days to make a habit. Now (Drumroll, please), almost two years later, I’m still climbing into a nice, neat bed every night. And every morning I take one minute to pull the sheets taut and straighten the comforter. One minute. That’s all it takes.

You’re probably wondering: Why the big stink over the bed? Because it’s never just about making the bed. Even Michelle Obama, who has a 95-person residence staff, demands that her two daughters make their beds. In an interview with Oprah, the First Lady spoke of her daughters’ chores: “It can’t be foreign to them to be part of a working household.” I couldn’t agree more.

I spent a couple of years teaching first and second grade. During conference time, parents inevitably asked what they could do at home to help their children succeed. Without fail, I always answered, “Read. Read. Read.” If I had to do it all over again, I’d add, “And have little Suzie make her bed.”

The Thinnest Wallets from ALL-ETT: BIG Father's Day Giveaway!

2009-05-11T03:54:00.000-07:00

Ladies, does your husband have wallet butt? Is he ruining those jeans you bought that make his butt look cute? If so, then look no further. I have the perfect Father's Day gift idea from ALL-ETT: The World's Thinnest Wallet.

Your man may not be complaining, but sitting on a thick wallet is very uncomfortable! In fact, it can become downright painful and lead to chronic back pain. Many men remove their wallets when sitting for very long, or while driving. The trouble is this leads to forgetting it somewhere or having it stolen.

The Original ALL-ETT Billfold can solve this problem. The Original Wallet holds up to 30 cards and has 2 pockets for cash. It will hold all of your hubby's stuff while still staying incredibly thin. This wallet makes a great gift and costs only $19.95 for nylon and $ 29.95 for leather.

The unique I.D. Wallet features an ID pocket on the inside of the wallet. This design allows you to show your ID easily and quickly while still keeping it securely stored inside of your wallet. The ID wallet will hold 12 credit cards and ID and has 2 pockets for your bills and receipts. Great for those who have to show their ID for work! Only $ 19.95 for nylon and $ 29.95 for leather.

Is your husband a sailor? The Boater's Wallet is waterproof and floats on top of the water for up to two days; it is truly amazing! The bright color helps make it easy to see for retrieval. This is a must have for boaters, kayakers, or anybody who might drop his wallet in the water. It will hold up to 10 credit cards, cash and a couple of keys while still floating. The dimensions of this wallet (empty & closed) are 3 ½" x 5 ¼" x ¼". It can be yours for only $ 29.95.

Here's the great news! I am giving away FIVE WALLETS for Father's Day: The Original, 2 I.D. Wallets (nylon & leather), the Boater's Wallet, and the Leather Executive.

For the opportunity to win, please visit ALL-ETT first. Then, come back and leave me a comment about which item you would most like to win (If you are a winner, I will do my best to accommodate you.). This giveaway is open until 5/29. Winners will be chosen by Random.org. You must be a U.S. resident to enter. Good luck!

If You Build It, They Will Come

2009-05-06T03:52:00.000-07:00

I think we all have the desire to be known, to share our truth with the world. I've always wanted to be a writer, a real one. In hard print, on a newsstand. Someone who writes for Parenting Magazine or Real Simple, or (dare I say it) Oprah. I want someone to see my name in print and say, "Damn, she's good."

A few months ago, my fabulous sister (an amazing cook who blogs about it) challenged me to enter the blogosphere. I was hesitant. That meant putting it all out there. That meant opening up the door to criticism. I was scared of the big R- rejection. As a self-proclaimed academic and perfectionist, I've always been haunted by the "good enough" syndrome: When is it ever enough? When am I ever good enough? After some kicking and screaming, I surrendered.

Alas, here I am!

Now that I've entered the blogosphere, I can't flip the switch. I want more. I'm impatient. I want to be found. Lately, I'm immersed in a whole new language: Technorati, RSS feeds, gadgets, Feedburner. Who knew that Kirtsy wasn't just a lovely little bow from ballet? It's all so much; I had no idea what I was getting myself into!

This blogging community is chock-full of promotions, giveaways, and back-scratching, which has its place. But I just want people to stop by for a visit, and leave a comment, not because it gives them another chance to win my giveaway, but because they want to. Because here, on my blog is something that resonates, some feeling or question or belief that unites us as moms and remarkable women.

As one of my favorite poems states: "The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. Only a person who risks is free." On the other side of fear is trust. So I've taken the plunge with the belief that . . .

If you build it, they will come.

Catching Fireflies . . .for Mom

2009-05-04T11:24:00.000-07:00

Remember catching fireflies when you were small? And poking holes in plastic cups? Remember running across freshly mowed grass with a carefree abandon, cupping your hands around dancing yellow lights? Those were the days . . .

This nostalgia warms my heart, much like the whimsical gifts from Catching Fireflies. With Mother's Day quickly approaching, I'd encourage you to stop by and take a peek at their wide variety of unique, stylish gift ideas. They have everything from recycled artwork to personalized jewelry to hand-crafted pewter goods. Here are my favorites from a.i. paper design:

FOR THE NEW MOM: I've gotten countless compliments on a baby ribbon frame that hangs in my bedroom and reads "little miracle." I know what you're thinking: Not another frame! But these are different; They are handmade, sophisticated and chic- perfect for the modern mom! Look at the one below . . .irresistible!

FOR THE PROUD MOM: You can show off your child's latest and greatest masterpiece and eliminate fridge clutter at the same time. Ingenius! Below is an adorable brag board for your "little Picasso." They can be personalized too!

FOR THE BUSY MOM: Thank God for post-its. I couldn't live without them. Here is a fabulous little post-it holder that actually makes me want to jot down more! And, always losing your keys? It takes care of that too! So cute!

I'm a big fan of Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel, but it's the same old stuff after awhile. So head on over to Catching Fireflies, and take a trip down memory lane. Go ahead . . .brighten someone's day!

SAHM Seeking SAHM

2009-05-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

On a bright, sunny afternoon, my sister and I decided to take Liza for a stroll through the historic district of a nearby walking town. While I was spending my recent Gymbucks (I love Gymboree.), my sister entertained Liza in the village square.

As I headed off to meet them, I noticed Liza hugging a big, red ball. Hmm . . .not hers. Trailing behind her was another little girl, and her mother, who looked strangely familiar. I slowed my pace and squinted my eyes to get a closer look. I know her, I thought. She had these memorable pigtails- simple and unpretentious. It was Maggie, a cheerful mom from the Hip Mamas group. Oh, crap. A part of me wanted to dart in the opposite direction; I am a Hip Mamas dropout.

I joined the Hip Mamas a few months after my daughter was born, to meet other like-minded moms, to find my match. It's not that I don't have friends, but they are all working moms, married without children, or single. I wanted and needed someone with whom I could share this wild, awesome, and also daunting task of mothering.

So I went to some mommy meet-ups, scanning the group for my mommy mate. Being shy, my "pick up lines" were few and far between: "She's only three months old? You look amazing!" Talk of sleep schedules and BPA-free bottles gets old . . .really fast. Needless to say, I did a lot of listening, and observing. Mom A dropped the f-bomb incessantly. Mom B fed her kid garbage. Mom C whipped out her boob wherever, whenever. SO awkward. I admit; I was sizing them up. Is she a potential?

I felt like posting in the Craigslist personals: SAHM seeking SAHM. Desires light and easy adult conversation, stroller walks in the park, bargain-shopper buddy. Must be fun, warm, real, and committed to genuine, lasting friendship.

I was impatient. I wanted to find "the one" (In retrospect, that's a freakishly heavy burden to carry.), someone with whom I could sit and chat over a cup of hot cocoa. You know, someone whose company has the capacity to warm my soul on days when motherhood leaves me lonely and cold.

Now back to Maggie. I didn't bolt. Instead I said with a familiar smile, "I know you! We met awhile back in the mom's group."

"Oh, yeah. I think I remember you from the farm," she replied, returning the smile.

"Do you still go to meet-ups?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm new to the area and don't know anybody. So it's nice just to get out sometimes with other moms. How 'bout you?"

"Oh, we don't really go anymore. Ever, actually. We just got caught up in other things (semi-true)."

I couldn't tell the truth. Oh, I'm a drop-out; I didn't gel with the other moms.

For another minute or so, we talked about our daughters and then wished each other well: "Maybe we'll see you here again soon!"

As I turned towards the nearest park bench, I had the urge to reach out. What if she was sad and alone? What if she needed someone? She seemed sincere and down-to-earth. Should I give her my number? Oh my God, how ridiculously high school!

Alas, I rummaged through my diaper bag for a pen and a tissue to write on, and scribbled my phone number. Then, I ran to catch up with Maggie.

"Here's my phone number," I said, "in case you ever want to get together. We come here a lot and the girls are so close in age. We'd love to meet up."

"Thanks. Definitely."

And oh, by the way, I'm "available."

I haven't heard from Maggie. Still, it felt good to make a connection, even if only for a moment. There was something about her that felt right, something relaxed and natural. My mommy match? Who knows. That's what I get for playing the field.

Homemade Soaps for Kids

2009-05-01T03:45:00.000-07:00

I recently read a fun article in Parent Guide News about crafting with your kids. Anne-Marie Faiola, creator of Bramble Berry, has lots of delightful indoor soap-making activities for kids. They are perfect for rainy spring days. Silence those little whiny voices with these super-cool crafts!

Visit Teach Soap for direct instructions on how to make these delightful soaps (and lip balms too!). Here are just a few examples:

Cookie Cutter Soaps: Creating soaps in fun shapes
Embedded Soap Toy: A toy trapped in soap
Lip Balm
Bath Fizzies

These make great gifts for Moms and Grandmas . . .just in time for Mother's Day!

Click HERE to visit Anne-Marie's blog!

50 Days of Affirmations

2009-04-30T03:36:00.000-07:00

We know our truth, but sometimes we need someone else to exclaim, "Girl, you're amazing!" A couple of years ago, I was inspired by the dynamic life coach and best-selling author, Debbie Ford, who challenged me to join in the Summer Self-Esteem Game.

Here's how it worked: First, I needed to choose a buddy, someone with whom I felt comfortable sharing my insecurities and fears. Next, I invited her to join me in a 50-day challenge, where we would text, email, or phone messages that empowered each other to, as Debbie says, "blast through our limitations." Thus, it was important to choose a buddy with whom I could honestly share those negative thoughts and beliefs that were keeping me from radiating my light.

My youngest sister said YES to this challenge, and for 50 consecutive days we "blasted" each other with love. Girl, you can't beat that! Here are some affirmations that we exchanged:

*God doesn't make junk. I am good enough, just as I am.

*I deserve to live with vast amounts of self-love and joy, beginning today.

*I am a genius, and the challenge is to uncover the genius within my soul.

*My ideas and opinions matter, and they reflect the kind and gentle person that I am.

*I am a Goddess of Possibility. I inspire others and help them to see that anything is possible.

This was a powerful process for me. It confirmed my belief that when we open ourselves up to vulnerability, we open ourselves up to deeper relationships and enduring self-love. This summer, I challenge you to take the plunge and invite someone to be a part of your world. Play the game. You can't lose. I promise.

But please . . .come back and tell us about it!

P.S. Click HERE for Debbie Ford's free affirmations.

Dear Nina

2009-04-28T08:16:00.001-07:00

A couple of months ago, my brother-in-law's mother, Nina, passed away. I got the horrifying phone call late one evening. They said she was dead. They said it was a massive heart attack. They said she didn't suffer. I was shocked, numb to the bone. She was way too young. And although I didn't have the privilege of knowing her for long, I miss her. We had a simple, special bond; we are moms.

Nina touched so many lives as a nurse, educator, and mentor at Rochester General Hospital. Today, on her birthday, the ViaHealth community gathered for a memorial service in her honor. Although I couldn't be present to celebrate her life, I chose to remember Nina in a way that honored who she was, her legacy as a loving, generous, whole-lotta-fun MOM.

In a nutshell, Nina was the kind of mom who made snow angels in the winter and snuggled inside cardboard forts on rainy afternoons. She was there, for everything. So, on this brilliant April morning, with record-breaking temperatures, I knew exactly how to celebrate Nina's life . . .at the park.

Dear Nina,

On this warm, gorgeous April morning, Liza and I went to the park. We wanted to remember you. That's what you would have done. I pushed Liza on the swings. She flew high, a smile splayed across her face as if to say, "More, Mommy!" We giggled and reached for the sun. We crawled through tunnels, and scooted our little tushies down the slide. We strolled around the lake and quacked at the ducks, our voices leaping when they waddled closer. We lingered and laughed. We smiled. We hugged. We laughed some more. We wanted to remember you. That's what you would have done.

They say moms are angels in disguise. But you, Nina, are an angel with wings.

Until we meet again, I'll miss you.

Love,

It's the Little Things . . .

2009-04-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

I lose things . . .a lot. The other day, I found an old lip gloss that I love, stashed in the pocket of Liza's diaper bag. "Lost and Found" is my life; and now that I'm a mom, more seems to be lost than found, including my marbles. My sister gave me this gloss over 8 years ago (Way past expiration, I know), and I fell in love with the color and light vanilla scent. It's called "Cutie Pie" by Bloom.

I'm pretty low-maintenance- a minimalist, I would say- when it comes to beautifying. I've had the same beauty routine since age 18, with the exception of additional under-eye concealer (Dark circles, I curse you!). But a new, juicy lip gloss has the power to make my day. A bit scary, but true. I feel invigorated and delicious and fun!

I'm not in the habit of wearing lipstick these days, mostly because my daughter is often poking at my face, squeezing my nose, tugging at my glasses, or twisting my lips. But when I stumbled upon my old friend, I wiggled and twisted the wand applicator, determined to soak up every last bit of flirtatious fun. Even though I wasn't heading out on a hot date, I smeared it on, pursing and smacking my lips. It was just for me, but even still, it felt good. So good.

Makeup does have a shelf life, but I just haven't been able to part with this gloss. What if I never find one as yummy? Here's the good news (for me): Bloom still makes "Cutie Pie," and hell, I'm going to treat myself; it's the little things that make life sweet.

Here are some other things that have the power to make my day: fresh-squeezed lemonade, pedicures, homemade cards, flip-flops, a brilliant sunshine, a great book.

What little thing (other than your kids) makes your day?

The Lonely Chalker

2009-04-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

As many of you know from my Staycation Report, my family recently spent a memorable afternoon on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I failed to mention, however, that right before heading home, I saw something etched onto the blacktop of a school playground, something glaring, scribbled in stark white chalk:

"I am the most sadust won of all."

My heart sank. What causes a child to write that? Does she have a mommy? Does someone tuck her in at night and scare the monsters away? Or has someone punctured her optimism and hope? I wanted to show this child a glorious afternoon (in part to alleviate my own guilt). To explore shapes and colors in the museum. To point to pigeons in the park. To hold her and tell her that there is no one else in the world just like her, that God doesn't make carbon copies.

Things are not always as they seem. The Upper West Side is known as a wealthy section of Manhattan. People have money. Nanny money. Memberships to the museum money. Bugaboo stroller money. It's not my place to assume or judge what this child does or does not have; that's irrelevant. She is sad. Clearly, something is missing.

That day, I was overcome with a range of emotions: joy, discomfort, awe, serenity, confusion. But when I passed that playground, I felt a sense of loss, the same loss that I felt when I noticed many children accompanied by nannies in the museum. I felt for all those children who are missing a connection with someone, anyone. And I felt for all of those parents who aren't present to witness their child's curiosity, amazement, and imaginative play at work.

Me? I felt lucky. Damn lucky. As I pushed my sensible stroller down the block, my cup runneth over with gratitude, for the opportunity to be a mom and the opportunity to witness the boundless joy and wonder radiating from my child.

This experience didn't ruin my day; it was a reality check and a call to acknowledge the millions of children around the world who are craving love and affection. And so, that night, as I tucked my daughter into bed, I hugged her just a little bit tighter, an extra squeeze for the "sadust won."

Go Green Expo NYC

2009-04-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

Go Green. Go Recycle. Go sustainable. Go solar powered. Go this, go that. It's everywhere. This weekend I checked out the Go Green Expo in NYC, and I'm back to share some of the highlights!

Did you know that Alka Seltzer cleans toilets? Or that lemon and hydrogen peroxide are natural alternatives to bleach? Featured speaker, Julie Edelman of The Accidental Housewife, put an interesting spin on being green. Here's the good news: It's about "being green enough," she said. "Light green." Okay, I can do that. Edelman offered some practical, fun advice on greening your cleaning. I particularly liked her Alka Seltzer jingle: "Plop, plop. Fizz, fizz. Away will go the poop and whizz."

LittleChickieWear had adorable 100% organic cotton onesies and tees:

IAGmedia displayed DVDs, CDs, books, and more that teach kids about caring for our environment. Let's Go Chipper: Into the Great Outdoors was an iParenting Media Award Winner!

Good Food Gardens displayed a live outdoor garden system that supports healthy, eco-conscious living. I WANT ONE! These gardens promote family cooperation and interdependency. And with access to their own fresh produce, children develop healthy habits for life . . .love it!

SodaStream distributed free samples for soda and sparkling water lovers. It was a delicious alternative to the bottles and cans "that are suffocating our planet." In fact, the average American consumes 600 cans or bottles of soda and sparkling water each year. SodaStream boasts less sugar and sugar-free options . . .with fizz. Santa, please add this to my list!

Baby Food: The Courage to Make Your Own

2009-04-17T06:33:00.000-07:00

Expectant mothers have great intentions . . .that die. Reality sets in, and hectic lives necessitate actions you vowed never to take, like feeding your child that strangely orange mac & cheese from a box. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout!

In the beginning, while I wasn't about to boycott the jarred stuff, I had a desire to experiment with homemade baby meals. I was surprised by how quick and easy they were to prepare with my trusty old blender, (Forget the expensive Beaba Babycook from Williams-Sonoma.) and I found a real sense of purpose- to raise a happy, healthy baby with an adventurous little palette.

It's comforting to know that there are alternatives to mass-produced food. Once I garnered the confidence to make my own, I knew that my daughter was gobbling up the freshest, most nutrient-rich foods possible. "The jarring process necessitates the use of very high heat under pressure, much more than you can generate when cooking at home. Unfortunately, many vitamins are destroyed by heat," says Lisa Barnes, founder of Petit Appetit, a cooking service for infants and toddlers in Northern California, and the author of The Petit Appetit Cookbook. I never would have blended black beans and yogurt if it wasn't for Barnes.

I recently stumbled upon a great website: NurtureBaby, founded by loving mother, Christen Babb. This site provides healthy, budget-sensitive, simple recipes for busy mommies. Take a minute and stop by.

As a new mom, it's empowering to know that you can make conscious decisions that will impact your child's health and well-being. And yes, sometimes that means packing jarred food. I love this motto: You do the best you can in every situation, and your best always changes. And when all else fails, trust your gut, and your tastebuds.

Experience the Spa at Home Giveaway

2009-04-16T03:42:00.000-07:00

One month after Liza was born, a friend invited me to her home for some girl bonding. I didn't really want to go; I couldn't squeeze into anything cute or stylish, and I felt ugly. Besides, how can you feel good with leaky boobs? C'mon. Honestly.

But this girls' night was different than others. I was encouraged to dress in comfy clothes. Check. And the Evite said, "Don't wear makeup." Check. It turns out that I had been invited to experience the spa, right in someone's home. What woman can pass up quality girl time while soaking her feet? We exfoliated and moisturized with delicious mango and peppermint scents. And all the while, we laughed, really laughed, about our hairy legs, creeping lines, and imperfections. It was just what I needed.

The party was given by Sensaria Representative, ML Banino, who was attracted to the company 3 years ago: "It's a way for mothers to find sanity. Using high quality, naturally-based spa products provides a daily ritual that helps moms feel better."

We all deserve to feel beautiful and whole. That's why this month I am giving away Sensaria's Beach Scent Bundle (pictured below), a $60 value. And, it's just in time for Mother's Day! All you need to do is send a comment before April 30 for a chance to win. The winner will be randomly selected using Random.org. Good luck!

The Children's Museum of Manhattan

2009-04-15T03:31:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that I stumbled upon CMOM. It's a hands-on environment that supports and celebrates creativity and the imagination. We spent most of our time in the Playworks exhibition, perfect for young children under 4. Below are some pictures that highlight our adventures!

Remember Lite Brite? Here's a giant one where kids can say it, draw it, design it in lights! Woah, did that take me back!

We fed Alphie the Talking Dragon.

We crawled through tunnels and peered into mirrors.

And we played Plinko (from The Price is Right) for toddlers. The grand prize: endless fun!

The Staycation Report: 3 Things I Learned

2009-04-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

1. Planning is Key. Spontaneity is the spice of life... in an ideal world. When you take a vacation, there's a lot of prep involved- packing, stopping the mail, taking out the trash, yada yada yada. In some ways, it's no different when you go on a staycation, even if it's only for the weekend.

Meal planning allowed us to stock the fridge and steer clear of last minute trips to the supermarket for one last thing (I'm famous for that!). Rachel Ray's "Make Your Own Burrito Bar" recipe was a big hit. Yes . . .we ate out too (ahh...no dishes), and left room for spontaneity; my sweet tooth couldn't resist stopping at Ben & Jerry's for some mint chocolate chunk ice cream. Twice. But the second time- totally planned.

Often, the weather dictates how you'll spend the day, take it or leave it. Thursday turned out to be a beautiful afternoon, one Tim fondly referred to as a Ferris Bueller day. After visiting the Children's Museum of Manhattan, we strolled through Central Park and people-watched over a packed lunch. Plan B involved sleeping bags, popcorn, and Mary Poppins. While that would have been fine, nothing compares to breathing in some fresh, spring air!

2. Get Unplugged! We live in a fast-paced, impatient, dot-mom world. Phone calls, text messages, emails, downloads. They're all nice, in moderation. The problem is that we don't moderate. I wanted to eliminate these distractions and be more attentive to what matters most in my life . . .spending time with the people I love. Besides, someday I'll never wish that I'd spent more time on my computer. Eat more ice cream? Maybe. (Hence the two trips to Ben & Jerry's.)

I did tell friends and family about our staycation, just as I would if we were vacationing. Yes, in case of an emergency, I could still be reached via cell phone. Yes, people still called. No, it wasn't an emergency. At one point, we did check messages. Big mistake. The bottom line: it's uncomfortable being disconnected, especially when you're lying on your own couch. I think it actually takes practice, something I'm more than willing to work on. You know, the "stuff" was all still here when I got back. I didn't miss much, if anything at all.

3. Make it a Habit of Smelling the Roses. For me, the whole point of a staycation is to practice slowing down and to live well (which doesn't require $$$) right in your own backyard. Every now and then, I think it's important to break up the monotony and do something fun or different, inspiring or creative, whatever that means for you. My husband felt that this was definitely easier to do once we hopped in the car, destination bound. It was much more challenging to ignore the to-do list at home and to relax, or god-forbid, do nothing. We're so accomplish-oriented; it's a tough habit to break.

Every adult speaks of how quickly children grow, and heck, I'm not about to miss these awesome years. My personality necessitates that I have to consciously put on blinders, carve out time, and create a space that offers enrichment of the soul. The flowers are on the table. At least that's a start.

A Shower for Your Brain: Who Would Have Thought?

2009-04-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

Since becoming a mom, bathing has taken on a whole different meaning. It means fending off the stink with a quick washcloth wipe-down. I bathe to get the job done. I haven't fogged up the bathroom mirror in ages. No time for that. There's a little person standing at the side of the bathtub, launching her toys into the water, trying herself to dive in. I now consider a shower (one that's long enough to shave my legs) somewhat of a far-off luxury.

As an educator, I always did my best thinking in the shower. It was home to countless teaching "aha!" moments, and thus, scrapped lesson plans. It was in a hot, steamy shower that the mental fog lifted. I often thought God, why didn't I think of this sooner? The answer: I wasn't in the shower.

In the July 2008 issue of The New Yorker, Jonah Lehrer writes a fascinating article entitled, "The Eureka Hunt: Why do good ideas come to us when they do?" He says that it is common for insight to come to us in a warm, relaxing shower. (If that's really true, I'm doomed.) Lehrer believes that insights originate as a result of a flood of neural activity in the right side of the brain, and that we are best able to tap into that hemisphere when we are relaxed.

I need a shower. Maybe that's why I can't think straight, why I walk into the same room five times and can't figure out why I'm there. Although, to be honest, I'm not looking for an epiphany, just a few coherent thoughts. As a mom, it's a real challenge to find time to linger, to open ourselves up to possibility, to "aha!" moments. While I can live with a little stink, maybe I've underestimated the value of a shower. Perhaps my daughter is onto something. She's inviting me to dive in! (with her, of course.)

Jack Johnson: The 3 R's

2009-04-06T05:19:00.000-07:00

I love the idea of learning through music. When Liza was born, my chunky granola sister introduced me to the 3 Rs song by Jack Johnson. It doesn't disappoint. In fact, I love his tone and message in this song; it's fun, catchy, and mellow enough for mommies to listen to over and over again. And, ready for the bonus? We can raise happy, smart, environmentally conscious little citizens all at the same time. Nice, right?

Check out this short video: Jack Johnson Video

Fight or Flight: Dealing with Negative Feelings

2009-04-04T13:46:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of months, I have been taking a memoir writing class, instructed by award-winning author of Writing Motherhood, Lisa Garrigues. For our final class meeting, we were invited to select a few pages from our writer's notebook to read aloud in class. No editing permitted. I debated whether or not to show up. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, the very thought of sharing something unedited made me uneasy. Okay, that's a lie. It freaked me out.

I sat down with my notebook, flipped through pages of crap, and settled on a piece inspired by Hemingway in a letter he wrote to John dos Passos: "Remember to get the weather in your god damned book-- weather is very important." So I decided to pick the time it was too hot to sleep. Fine; it was something. I typed up my entry, made a few irresistible changes, and reluctantly headed off to class.

I took a seat amongst my peers, and thus commenced the readings- rich, deep, powerful, thought-provoking readings. One woman read about surviving a bombing in Cuba, another about the nanny who was her last lifeline in a failing marriage, another about how the birthing process is like riding a giant wave. These were readings about loss, love, and spiritual growth. And I had written about the god-damned weather. Holy crap. Get me outta here. I wanted to jump out the second floor window. A broken arm or leg wouldn't be all that bad. At least I wouldn't have to read. There must be a way I could gracefully bow out. I began praying for an emergency call on my cell phone.

I needed a lifeline. This was supposed to be a celebration of our writing, and yet, dread and anxiety roiled about in the pit of my stomach. Maybe what I really needed was to share these negative feelings with somebody, somebody who would look into my eyes, listen, and then admit, "me too."

As a kid, I can remember a classic response to my fear of trying something new: "There's no reason to be afraid." Bullshit. Try telling that to a six-year-old's nervous system, which is now flashing hazard lights. What I needed was someone to validate my fear, to help me understand that it's okay to experience a range of emotions; it's what makes us human, and real. The problem is that we often dismiss our feelings, judging them as silly. In turn, we never learn how to be with them and stare them down.

At some point, my daughter is going to tell me that she's afraid. And when she does, I am going to stroke her head, hold her hand and whisper, "It's okay to feel afraid. Let me tell you about a time when I wanted to jump out the window."

P.S. I did survive the reading. Thanks a lot, Hemingway.

Homemade Playdough Recipe

2009-04-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

Kids love playdough. Why? Because they can dig their little fingers into a gooey blob and create something totally cool. I'm a big fan of simple things that encourage creativity and ingenuity in children. But there are two things that bug me about playdough. One, that smell (You know exactly what I'm talking about!). And two, it inevitably ends up embedded in the high-pile carpet, and weeks later you're still scraping away at these irritating bits, now painfully wedged under your fingernails. At last, here's a simple recipe for homemade playdough . . .perfect for a rainy day!

Ingredients:

1 c. flour
1 c. warm water
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. vegetable oil
1/4 c. salt
food coloring optional

Directions:

Mix all of the ingredients in a pot and stir over medium heat until smooth.
Knead into a ball and allow to cool completely, kneading every few minutes. It becomes more firm as it cools.
Store it in a container with lid. It lasts for days.

I wish I could say that Liza loved sinking her fingers into my homemade playdough, and that it supplied us with endless hours of fun. I was all set to whip out the cookie cutters with animals and shapes, but truthfully, she just wanted to eat it. That's what I get for making my own. I guess, in her own way, she loved it too. At least it's not decorating my carpet!

Time for a "Staycation"

2009-03-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

Do you ever find yourself saying, "I need a vacation"? I do it all the time. But for many Americans, a vacation isn't in the cards right now. We're living in some topsy-turvy, scary economic times. Our 401k's are worth half of what they were 2 years ago, the market wavers more than a moody teenage girl, and frankly, we don't know who to trust.

The other day, as I was recycling my junk mail, I fell upon the idea of a "staycation," vacationing at home. I think the idea of a vacation is more of a mindset than anything else. You don't have to be reclining under a palm tree to achieve a sense of calm (although that sounds really nice right now). A vacation is about waking up at your leisure, lollygagging about, and voluntarily shirking your responsibilities and obligations in exchange for some good old fashion family fun. Thanks, Clark W. Griswold.

In the beginning of April, my husband has a week off from school, and we've decided to go on a staycation for two days. Actually, I think it's going to be quite a challenge. Many people, myself included, actually have a hard time relaxing in their own homes. We say, "I'll relax when the _____ is done." And so, we never relax, because there is always something to be done. It's so easy to get sucked into the distractions and send that one last email. For me, this staycation will be about no rushing, no schedules, and no doing. Just being. (That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.)

Here are some ideas for a family "staycation":

Turn off the TV and rent a Disney flick or go to the movies.
Take a family bike ride or hike.
Play a board game or a card game together.
Eat out at your favorite restaurant.
Go to a children's museum, aquarium, science center, or zoo.
Make an ice cream sundae buffet.
Unplug the phone, the computer, and the telephone.
Give everybody a break from chores and responsibilities.
Fly kites in an open field.
Dust off the sleeping bags and have a slumber party- ghost stories included!

I haven't yet decided how my family is going to spend our two days. We're going to fly by the seat of our pants, but definitely kick back and just enjoy one another. And hey, I can light a coconut-scented candle and put on some Banana Boat sunscreen to give it that "beach vacation" feel.

Gifts with Meaning from Affirmagy

2009-03-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

Is there a great little place where you like to shop? You know, one of those places that you don't share with anyone else? I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'm going to share one of mine. Affirmagy is one of those best kept secrets for meaningful gifts. There, I said it. The cat's out of the bag.

I was first introduced to Affirmagy when my daughter, Liza, was born. I can remember opening the front door one evening to find a package that felt like a baby blanket. Great, just what we needed, another blanket. But this one was different. The soft, pink, fleece blanket was covered in affirmations that began with "The whole world welcomes my arrival." I was so inspired by these words that I read them over and over again. I wanted to wrap my daughter up in this blanket, so tight that her heart could hear the message. I wanted her to know the gifts of possibility, peace, love, and calm. Simply stated, it said everything I wished for my child.

A few months later, I sent an Affirmagy blanket to a former student of mine who is fighting cancer with a courage like none other. I continue to send them to people, especially moms, who have enriched my life with their passion and strength. I'd encourage you to do it too!

Reading: A Way to Connect with Your Spouse

2009-03-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Prior to having a child, my husband and I usually spent our dinnertime recounting our teaching days, which were never short of funny, inspiring, aha! moments. We poured over challenging situations and sought each other's advice in dealing with helicopter parents. I've always viewed our shared passion for educating youth as a gift. It connects us; it's nice to come home to someone who genuinely understands your world.

As you might imagine, when I chose to become a stay-at-home mom, I suddenly felt dull and boring. I didn't have stories to share at dinner, at least not ones that I believed were worthy of sharing (There's that inner critic.). Besides, did he really want to hear about how many diapers I changed or the challenge of finding my way into the shower? While my daughter brought me great joy, there was also a sense of loss. Really, I think this is a natural part of the process of redefining oneself.

That Christmas, my husband gave me Plain Truth, written by my favorite author, Jodi Picoult. To my surprise, he suggested that we read it together; yes, men read her books too. What I love about Jodi (we're on a first name basis in this house) is that her books are emotionally charged with multi-dimensional characters who are struggling with difficult moral issues reflective of our time, many of them controversial. She challenges my own belief system, as her characters walk a fine line between what we consider to be right and wrong, and I love that. So, naturally, her books sparked some fresh dinner conversation, which is exactly what my husband intended, and exactly what I needed.

Our little "book club" turned out to be a whole lot of fun, far more than I would have anticipated. During the day, I'd email him at school: "What page are you on?" I was secretly hoping to be ahead. No such luck. He always managed to sneak in a few pages here or there during the bedtime bottle-feeding. I hate fast readers.

As an English teacher, I've always emphasized the power of words and language to connect us as human beings. Although my role has changed, reading together has helped me to feel connected again, not only with my husband but with that teacher-self who was craving something more stimulating than baby babble. Our evening book talks have filled an intellectual void for me, and frankly, my brain doesn't feel quite so mushy. Tonight we're having roast chicken with a side of good conversation. I can't wait to dig in!

Sh—Happens. The Cleanup Matters.

2009-03-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

Last fall, my husband and I drove to a historic town about two hours from our home, hoping to spend the day strolling down quaint little streets, flanked by shops with perfect holiday finds for people who have everything. During our drive, I asked my husband, “So what’s your perfect afternoon look like?” He replied, “First we do some shopping (He always knows what to say). Then we find this little gourmet deli, like the one in Nantucket, and order sandwiches with a dill or horseradish mayonnaise. And we find a nice little park bench to sit on and eat lunch. Just me and my girls. That’s all I want.” It seemed so simple.

Well, we never did find that deli, or the park bench. After scoping out a few empty restaurants (never a good sign), we decided to leave early and head towards our favorite ice cream shop, Thomas’s Sweets. If nothing else, we would end up eating some really yummy ice cream; I could live with that.

To make a long story short, a few u-turns later, we settled on a small town pizzeria in I-don’t-know-where. I guess the ice cream wasn’t meant to be. We were both tired and hungry, trying to remain upbeat for our one-year-old daughter, who hadn’t even made a fuss; bless her soul. On our way out the door, I lifted my daughter for the ‘ol sniff test, and something wasn’t quite right. As strange as this may sound, you learn your child’s smells. In a room full of kids, I know if she’s the pooper. But this one was different. “Smell her,” I said, holding her bottom up to my husband.

That’s when I saw it. The leak. “Oh, God. Get her outside.” In the middle of downtown who-knows-where, I needed to get my daughter out of those pants fast; it would have been nice to do it without creating an all-out scene. This is no exaggeration: it was a mudslide. Clearly, a two-man operation. In the middle of the sidewalk, my daughter arched her back and giggled as I, frazzled, tried to wiggle her pants down her legs, now entirely painted in poop. And all the while, she had the audacity to laugh! We bid farewell to those brand-new pink pants, and my child went sans pants for the drive home. She was as happy as a pig in sh--.

I share this story, because as moms, we need to develop and nurture our sense of humor. It’s easy to get bogged down in the muck (not too far from the truth!) These days, I’m trying not to take myself too seriously. Sh-- happens. How you clean it up matters- with empathy, understanding, and a little bit of humor. It’s that simple.

Turn It Up, Mama! Our Top 10 Dancing Picks

2009-03-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

It's 3:00 p.m. You're sluggish and need a little pick-me-up (other than chocolate). Maybe Daddy won't be home for another five hours. That's right . . .five hours. You've exhausted all your tricks and games. What else is there? Time to turn up the music and dance! Here's a list of 10 feel-good songs that get the heart pumping. Bye bye, bleary eyes. Hello, energize!

Respect, Aretha Franklin
Let's Get It Started, Black-Eyed Peas
I Got You (I Feel Good), James Brown
Beautiful Day, U2
Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Marvin Gaye
That's the Way I Like It, K.C. & the Sunshine Band
I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch), the Four Tops
Got My Mind Set on You, George Harrison
Walking on Sunshine, Katrina & the Waves
Glory Days, Bruce Springsteen

Managing Your Life: One Thing at a Time

2009-03-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

Every time I blink, it seems that my daughter is another half-inch taller, learning and growing and discovering the world. Life's too short to miss out on pointing to the birds or "choo-chooing" when the train whistles through our town. Still, it's hard to ignore that little voice in my head that's obsessing over dirty dishes, dirty toilets, and dirty laundry (Life would be so much sweeter without dirt!). As a mom, it's hard to find that middle ground without beating yourself up over the leftover scrambled eggs, now glued to the plate, from this morning's breakfast.

Sometimes my mental to-do lists are so long, that I do nothing. I'm literally incapacitated by my seemingly insurmountable lists. And so I ruminate, wishing I didn't care so darn much about the unimportant stuff. These days, I am learning to think smaller. I recently discovered a one-item list notepad (Yup, that's it!), and it's absolutely perfect for a mom like me, not to mention a lot less daunting. It reads, "I will do one thing today." How liberating! Now I can breathe. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. I'm off to the park!

Visit Pretty Bitter to order a pad for yourself. You deserve to feel empowered!

Ways to Encourage Your Young Child: What to Say

2009-03-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

Although my daughter is only 17 months, I recently attended a seminar called STEP: The Systematic Training for Effective Parenting. I believe that it's never too early to start consciously using a language that promotes mutual respect and positive relationships. My wish for my daughter is that she will one day look in the mirror and see a competent, compassionate, confident woman. I want so much for her, but above all, I want her to know that who she is will always be enough. Below are some phrases I've used (adapted from STEP: Parenting Young Children), guaranteed to encourage your child, so that she can feel good about herself.

"I can see you're working hard on that puzzle!"
"You look like you're having lots of fun!"
"Thank you for your help turning on the light."
"You're getting better at eating with spoon."
"I need your help putting the toys away."
"You seem to like taking a bath."
"Wow! You can climb up the stairs all by yourself."
"You remembered to keep your bib on."
"Thank you for bringing me the toilet paper. That helped me a lot." (No joke!)

So what's the big deal? What strikes me about this language is a conscious shift from "I/me" to "you." It's all about your child, her efforts, feelings, and self-esteem. The STEP philosophy makes an important distinction between encouragement and praise, and this resonated with me. Rather than saying "I'm so proud of you," which might actually be damaging if your child is a perfectionist, you might say, "You seem so proud of your artwork!" In the latter example, children don't grow-up believing that they need to live up to someone else's expectations. They learn to live up to their own. Powerful stuff, right? I am not saying that all praise is negative, but I love the idea of using a language that encourages children, honoring their strengths and acknowledging their struggles. And just like unconditional love, it doesn't need to be earned.

(For more information, visit the Systematic Training for Effective Parenting)

Go Green: The Top 10 Fruits and Veggies to Buy Organic

2009-03-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, and find that buying all organic puts a drain on your wallet, here is a list of produce that is mostly likely to contain high levels of pesticides:

Peaches
Apples
Sweet Bell Peppers
Celery
Nectarines
Strawberries
Cherries
Lettuce
Imported Grapes
Pears

(Information developed by the Environmental Working Group)